(FLP Satire) - Melissa Cantwell, promoted to the post of Super Czar of Gun Safety by Barack Obama earlier this week, resigned her position this morning after a second gun related accident in one week. Cantwell, who was at home recuperating after shooting herself in the foot last week, accidentally shot off the big toe on her other foot last night in a fit of rage.
Witnesses say that Cantwell was upset at the judging on the America's Got Talent program and fired her .45 caliber pistol at the bedroom television in what one bystander described as, "an absolute tsunami of rage".
The witness said things were fine until the judges eliminated her favorite act, a midget who juggled cantaloupes while hopping up and down on a flaming pogo stick. When judges eliminated the act, the witness said Cantwell screamed a spew of profanities and then picked up her gun from the nightstand and fired it in the direction of the television. Unfortunately, she missed the TV and instead struck the big toe on her left foot, severing it.
An ambulance was immediately summoned and what was left of her toe was gathered and transported with her to the hospital. Witnesses said Cantwell was still screaming about the judging as she was placed in the ambulance. There is no word yet if the re-attachment was successful.
Reports indicate that Barack Obama will move quickly to name a replacement. Administration insiders, speaking on condition of anonymity, indicate that Mike Phipps (seen below in hat) will be named to replace Cantwell later today.
Click HERE for story on Gun Safety Czar's original gun accident.