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Thursday
Aug192010

Super Czar of Gun Safety Resigns After 2nd Gun Related Accident In Week

(FLP Satire) - Melissa Cantwell, promoted to the post of Super Czar of Gun Safety by Barack Obama earlier this week, resigned her position this morning after a second gun related accident in one week. Cantwell, who was at home recuperating after shooting herself in the foot last week, accidentally shot off the big toe on her other foot last night in a fit of rage.

Melissa Cantwell, former Super Czar of Gun Safety, resting at home yesterday prior to second gun accident in one week.

Witnesses say that Cantwell was upset at the judging on the America's Got Talent program and fired her .45 caliber pistol at the bedroom television in what one bystander described as, "an absolute tsunami of rage".

The witness said things were fine until the judges eliminated her favorite act, a midget who juggled cantaloupes while hopping up and down on a flaming pogo stick. When judges eliminated the act, the witness said Cantwell screamed a spew of profanities and then picked up her gun from the nightstand and fired it in the direction of the television. Unfortunately, she missed the TV and instead struck the big toe on her left foot, severing it.

An ambulance was immediately summoned and what was left of her toe was gathered and transported with her to the hospital. Witnesses said Cantwell was still screaming about the judging as she was placed in the ambulance. There is no word yet if the re-attachment was successful.

Reports indicate that Barack Obama will move quickly to name a replacement. Administration insiders, speaking on condition of anonymity, indicate that Mike Phipps (seen below in hat) will be named to replace Cantwell later today.

Click HERE for story on Gun Safety Czar's original gun accident.

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Reader Comments (7)

ON GUN TOPIC...THE NRA HAS ANNOUNCED THAT THEY WILL NOT ENDORSE harry reid...THANKS TO ALL WHO CALLED AND WROTE...PLEASE CALL THE NRA 800 392 8683 PRESS #3 TALK TO A REP. TELL THE NRA TO ENDORSE A REAL 2ND AMENDMENT CHAMPION...SHARRON ANGLE.....THANK YOU

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCowboy Dave

Absolutely ROTFLMAO! Brilliant Pundit!

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDTR Patriot

Thanks for that! I just got weird looks from my coworkers.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSideburns

I love it. You capture the incompetence of this administration like no one else. Great stuff!

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterApple Jacks

Laughed so hard I almost cried on this one.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonte Hall

This appointment was made right before O took yet ANOTHER vacation. This time to Martha's Vineyard.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSideburns

I'm at a loss for words on this one...

August 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDano

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