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Wednesday
Aug182010

Obama Promotes Czar of Gun Safety After She Accidentally Shoots Self

(FLP Satire) - In a move sure to stoke discussion, Barack Obama has promoted Melissa Cantwell to Super Czar of Gun Safety after a gun accident at her home last week in Maryland. Cantwell accidentally shot herself in the foot while unloading her Taurus 9MM.

At a news conference held from her bedroom yesterday, she claimed not to know a bullet remained in the chamber when she dropped the magazine out of the pistol. "I figured I'd make sure it was empty by aiming it at my foot and pulling the trigger". When asked why she aimed it at body part, she said, "Well, duh? If I'd have aimed it at my head it would have killed me, so I chose my foot instead."

In announcing the promotion, Obama said, "Melissa Cantwell now has the experience of having been shot. Most people outside of my hometown of Chicago have not been shot, so I think that is very important to her credibility as an expert on gun safety". He continued, "This experience will make her much better at helping others to understand where to point a gun when you pull the trigger. As she so aptly demonstrated, it should never be at your head."

Melissa Cantwell, Super Czar of Gun Safety, resting at home after accidentally shooting self.

 

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Reader Comments (6)

Priceless! It's just what he would do.

August 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoPa

I'M SORRY BUT THAT POSITION HAS ALREADY BEEN FILLED....CHECK OUT YOUTUBE..DEA AGENT SHOOTS SELF IN FOOT..."o" cousin......

August 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCowboy Dave

I'd say ODumbo would have buried her at Arlington National Cemetery if she'd have blown her brains out. Funny stuff.

August 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Commander

If Obummer had aimed for his foot, he would have shot himself in the mouth!!

August 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertnquake

The DEA agent (Lee Page) who shot himself in the foot, I've worked with him. He is a BIGGER pompous, arrogant ass in real life than he comes across on the vid.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergreenmeanie

I worked with a few DEA guys in Central and South America.. some were ok.. but the real pompous ones were hilarious out in the field.. we did a night halt and had been settled in about an hour and I kept hearing whimpering... sure enough this guy was scare shitless.... I went over and checked him.. I though perhaps he had a snake in his shelterhalf.. nope.. just crying like a little girl.. guy never came out with us again.. Another guy was a vietnam vet and was very arrogant.. told us we didn't know anything about the jungle (i was a scout/sniper and had jungle school training). So he is going to "show us" how to move and so on.... he starts walking ... we let him get ahead of us because he said he was taking point... point man goes out ahead right? *lol* we hear this scream.. and then "where are you guys?" .. and I mean he sounds scared.. we moved up and he standing there.. he'd come around a tree and walked into a sloth.. just about pissed himself.. probably one of the most funny things I ever saw when I worked down there

August 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

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