Explaining American Politics To An 8 Year-Old
Saturday, January 9, 2010 at 11:40AM 
(FLP Satire) - This is one thought I had on explaining American politics to your younger children.
Kid: Daddy, how did Barrack Obama get elected?
Daddy: Mikey, that's a very good question. Would you like Daddy to explain how that happened?
Kid: Yes, very much!
Daddy: OK, but you have to listen carefully. This gets a little confusing.
Kid: OK, I will.
Daddy: Everything starts with the Circle Talkers (Liberals) trying to fool the Morons (Independents) into thinking they are intelligent and to follow them by saying things that the Morons can't understand. Because of this, the Morons begin to think the Circle Talkers are much smarter than they really are, but secretly the Circle Talkers don't think what they're saying makes much sense either.
The Fools (Mainstream Media) help the Circle Talkers by proclaiming they have the best ideas and that they will help everyone. At the same time, the Fools also tell the Morons how bad those evil Straight Talkers (Conservatives) are. The Straight Talkers attempt to refute this notion through Truth Outlets (Right Wing Media), however, the Fools and Circle Talkers combine forces with one another to try and convince the Morons that the Straight Talkers and their Truth Outlets are liars, even though they know that isn't true.
The Morons take all of this in and eventually decide whether to vote for the Circle Talker or the Straight Talker. Last year, they voted for the Circle Talker and that is how Barrack Obama became President.
Do you understand all of that Mikey?
Kid: Yeah, I guess. But what does it all mean Daddy?
Daddy: It means the leader of the free world was elected by Morons.
Click HERE for more fun at the expense of liberals.
Reader Comments (26)
LMAO! This is a freaking masterpiece. Going viral!
I can't believe how freaking true what you wrote is. Funny as all heck, but it is dead true too.
Great satire piece filled with the truth.
The Circle Talker description is perfect. Just listen to Olbermoron or Madcow - they make no sense, but the idiots think they are geniuses.
You summed that up beautifully! Now write the same for how Muslim Fanatics impact the geo-political landscape!
What a load of dog crap. So the liberals are idiots that talk in circles, huh? Ever heard of a Rush Limbaugh? That fat bag of wind wouldn't know the truth or how to articulate a point if he tried to and he is the spokesman for you moronic conservatives.
Here's my suggestion. Throw your computer off a tall building so you can't embarrass yourself any further.
Gee, I'm not sure if someone who names themselves "Crunkalious" really ought to be giving out advice on how not to embarrass yourself.
Good call Sarah. Crunk has been visiting the site over the past week and leaving moronic ramblings that she thinks serve as intelligent discourse. She is a classic example of a Circle Talker - says a lot, but really says nothing. In other words, a moron.
Crunklious,
We will throw our computers off the building right after you jump....Circle-Jerk
Well said Dawg. Nothing would make me happier than to see the liberal joke jump take a leap.
Don't you just love to hear one of those Circle-Talkers try to rebut a Straight-Talker. They sound like one of the Morons.
Cute. There's a reason Florida has its own special tag on Fark.com. But I agree with your characterization of conservatives as "straight talkers". The conservative vocabulary and thought process is so primitive that you folks can't help by talk in very simple sentences.
crunk have do you ever stop and read your post's, you spit vitriol and ridicule instead of actually articulating a point, or showing facts. FL you're next satire should ask where all the centrist democrats have gone.
"if you are not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you are not a conservative a forty you have no brain" Winston Churchill
Hey SmackSarah, I find it amusing that you actually believe that garbage. Which ideology attracts more of the dregs of society? You know, the ones who wait on the Producer Class to take care of them. It sure isn't the Republicans or Conservatives - those folks detest both groups. However, liberals are elected to office on the backs of those people - many of whom don't pay taxes and are on government assistance.
Put that in crack pipe and smoke it.
This is my first time on this site and it won't be my last after reading this. A friend had actually sent me the link to this article and I have to say, I think it's genius. I'm sending this to everyone I know. Well done sir.
If Americans didn't vote like morons, Ron Paul would have won.
what is a producer class?
The producer class are taxpayers.
I threw my computer off the top of a tall building after watching the asinine Olbersocialist and the Madowitch and the best noise it made was when it landed on the head of a liberal asking for handouts on the street below.
if libs throw their computers off of tall buildings, they should hold on to them.